The Daily Prophet's Magical Matches
by slenderpanda597
Summary: What would happen if The Daily Prophet had a lonely hearts column, where readers could respond to each person in an attempt to find their 'perfect match' Lighthearted humour for Harry Potter fans...
1. Issue 1

(a/n - I clearly don't own harry potter and co or I wouldn't be sat writing this at the moment. Clearly. This also isn't entirely my idea, as I happened to stumble upon something by padfoot, prongs and Mooney which I thought was a great idea. However, it was years old and never finished so I thought, hey! Why not do my own version? So I have. In my own weird way. Get over it. This is also slightly au as all of the time periods are slightly dodgy and I am working with the idea in mind that nobody really died otherwise it just wouldn't work... Apart from that, enjoy!)

The Daily Prophet's Magical Matches! Dear readers... Just to let you know that we (in my office, so I) feel that the magical world needs some love spreading around. As said by well known muggle band 'the beatles' "nanananana love is all you need" or something like that anyway. Don't ask me. I'm a wizarding editor. Not muggle music buff. Anyway, so since my taking over and revamp of your favourite magical newspaper, I have decided to include this lonely hearts section. Awww. You may have noticed me advertising for lonely people in previous issues - yes I had a purpose... What did you think I was doing?! Don't answer that... Back to the point, however... Every so often we will print the advertisements you have anonymously sent in (we just need your initials and contact details, thanks - our owls are good but not that good that they can telepathically know who you are with just your initials to go by) and we will also print what we feel the best reply to your advert was, should you have received any (hahahaha only joking... OF COURSE you will get a reply. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.) Anyway, without further ado... Let me present you with issue 1 of The Daily Prophet's Magical Matches! The editor.

Lonely heart #1 - HP I would like someone who can hold me when I'm scared, who will love me no matter what happens and who will constantly be by my side. I sometimes get splitting headaches, so someone with a good knowledge of household and/or medical charms and potions would be useful... Especially the latter; I suck at potions. The person I'm looking for would also need to be very patient, as I have a tendency to get myself caught up in tricky situations... You must also not mind being in the spotlight every so often. Can't wait to here from anyone who replies.

Lonely heart #2 - SS I am a mature person who is looking for someone to spend some quality time with. I don't have much of a social life. This is not due to me being a 'greasy haired git' as some people so charmingly put it, but it is due to the fact that I am an extremely busy person as I have many talents which are in constant demand. (Wink wink nudge nudge.) Therefore I want an honest, truthful person (I will know if you lie to me... I CAN read minds) so that I am able to happily brew potions with someone I love. The person I end up with should preferably not be married or engaged or in a relationship or fancy someone else etc as this has happened to me before and since then I have been constantly heartbroken. Please, find some room in your heart to love a sensible, secretive and surprisingly sexy person...

Lonely heart #3 - LV I am an extremely powerful being, and therefore require someone who doesn't mind power and the spotlight as that sort of comes with being with me. As does hiding for a few years should the reason arise for us to. However, you must realise that you will always be second to me, and must never try and outshine me; this will result in instant death; I don't care how close to me you are, so no pressure. You must also be of pure blood heritage as I really don't want to be mixing myself up with the wrong sorts of people, if you get what I mean... It is also best if you don't have a fear of snakes, as if you do, then it's not really my problem to be honest... Snakes are GOOD! Contact me or I'll curse you.

Right, faithful daily prophet readers, there we have the first 3 lonely hearts. If you feel like any one of these lovely members of the greater wizarding community are for you, then contact our offices at the usual address stating why you feel that you are the one for these lonely members of the wizarding world. Our dedicated team of matchmakers (ie my good self) will then pick the best reply to each person and print it next issue, which will come out when I can be bothered to print it and I haven't got any other wizarding work on my plate. All's fair in love and war, eh? I will also go to the liberty of putting you together with this person, and it will be you and your now not-so-lonely-heart's duty to send us a letter each explaining how you've got on. Should we not receive any word from you we will follow the necessary procedures for your cheek. I'm waffling now, so am going to go and finish checking up on my other staff. Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - hope you liked issue one... I sure did. However my dilemma now is that I don't know how to choose people to reply to the lonely hearts. Therefore, this is where you come in, lovely readers... YOU tell ME who you think should reply to each one and I'll pick one and construct the rest from there! All you have to do is let me know the name you think should reply and which lonely heart they are replying to. I don't need the whole reply, I'll do that because i'm cool like that. Clearly. This therefore means that if you don't let me know then the daily prophet magical matches can't continue. The future is in your hands, so no pressure there, then... Also, please don't be upset if I don't choose your reply... I can only do one for each lonely heart! ^_~)


	2. Issue 2

Issue 2.

Dear readers, sorry it had been a while, but people haven't exactly been flooding in with their replies to the lonely hearts. Sob. Anyway, I have decided to print the top replies for each of our own 3 lonely hearts. Here you go! And don't forget, reply to any more lonely hearts we may get! The editor.

Lonely Heart #1 - HP

Reply From HG

Dear Daily Prophet, I feel that I would make a lovely companion for HP because I am incredibly talented at potions and all kinds of charms, I have been told that I would make a great healer, although I feel that the ministry is where to be. The spotlight bit might be difficult, but I find that I will manage it, since I have dated a well known quidditch player in the past. I have also managed to sort out difficult situations. Yours, HG.

Lonely Heart #2 - SS

Reply from BW

Daily Prophet, I would like to apply to get together with SS, who sounds cool and charming. I feel I am up for the job as I have plenty if experience with dangerous creatures, and I love hair, I myself have very unusual hair which some make fun of, so I can relate to SS's hair problems. I also haven't been with anyone for a while, and I think SS would give me a breath of fresh air. BW

Lonely Heart #3 - LV

Reply from DM

Good day all at the offices of the Daily Prophet, I am a distinguished pureblood wizard hoping to be picked to be a date for LV. I feel that LV and myself would get along tremendously. I am, afterall, from the house of snakes. I also have many pureblood contacts that are well known in the wizarding world. I would not mind being second in command, it sounds so powerful. I sincerely hope to be picked, DM.

Well, readers, there you have it, the replies for our first 3 lonely hearts! Soon, they will all go on a date somewhere exciting, kindly funded by our 3 sponsors (The Leaky Cauldron, The Three Broomsticks and Madame Puddifoot's.) Once this has happened, we will print their letters of thanks. Don't forget, if you would like to be a lonely heart, or reply to one, owl us at the ministry offices! Details are printed in issue 1! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - well, what did you think of issue 2? Thanks to those who replied, as I can't continue without reader feedback! Apart from that, drop me a review or pm to say how you feel about my fics, or with any requests for future lonely hearts! Go on, you know you want to! ^.^)


	3. Issue 3

Issue 3.

Dear readers, due to the lack of news to put in the paper this week... Hahahaha, only joking, of course we never run out of news here at the daily prophet! Anyway, um... As I was saying, our lonely hearts went out with their dates, and sent us their letters as instructed. So, here you are reader, this could be you if you ever reply to a lonely heart or apply to be a lonely heart!

Lonely Heart #1 - HP

Dear Daily Prophet, I would like to thank you for setting me up with such a wonderfully talented person, who I have always seen as a very close friend. The date you sent us on in The Leaky Cauldron was a wonderful get away, and we were able to stroll through Diagon Alley afterwards, where I purchased a broom servicing kit (not in a dirty way, you filthy minded things!) and my date bought a book on wand techniques (again, not in a dirty way, you filthy minded things!) I hope to take my date out a few more times, and see where it leads, but if it doesn't work out, we will always be close friends. Yours, HP

Dear all whom may be concerned at the Daily Prophet offices, I would like to thank you for sending me on a date to The Leaky Cauldron, the wonderful link between the two magical and non magical worlds. After a lovely tea with jam and scones, we wandered up Diagon Alley, and made a few purchases. My date, whom is a very good friend, bought a kit to service their broom with, as they felt that their old one was out of date, and that their broom needs the best treatment. I agree, as everyone knows that an untreated broom never performs at its best. I myself purchased a book on wand technique, since one cannot get by in life using one's wand in an improper way, since people will generally judge you on how well your wand technique is. Anyway, thank you for the wonderful experience, I now must find my date to see how their broom is, and show them my new wand technique. Yours sincerely, HG.

Lonely Heart #2 - SS

Dear Daily Prophet, I would like to say what a disappointment your lonely hearts column was. I went to my date at The Three Broomsticks, as you instructed, and was shocked to meet an old acquaintence, who is much younger than myself. Though I have nothing against large differences, I was hoping this advertisement would set me up with my soul mate. However, I spent the entire evening trying to act as if our meeting was of business purposes, since we were surrounded by people I do not especially care to observe a date. Anyway, I will now head back to my lab, and brew potions alone, possible for the rest of my life. Yours, SS

All at Daily Prophet, My date at the Three Broomsticks was funnier than watching a horntail with a sore throat. Believe me, that is very funny, as it is unable to roar and it hurts it to breathe fire! Anyway, yeah, the date didn't work, but ah well, it was an experience I'll never forget, my date looked so embarrassed and flustered to have been caught using a dating service, and they swore me to secrecy! Thanks anyway, BW

(Editor's note: we had to owl LV for a reply letter, they didn't seem to be in a good mood, by the sounds of it, especially as we got half a dozen howlers with LV's reply.)

Lonely Heart #3 - LV

Daily Prophet! I will curse you all you horrible demons for setting me up with one of my closest friend's child! And the fact I had to go inside Madame Puddifoot's! I dragged my date out of there from under an invisibility cloak I had found, which I then realised was a glamour cloak so I looked like a hag going into there! As soon as I saw my date I screeched and apostates away quickly. Curse you all! LV

Daily Prophet Offices, my date at Madame Puddifoot's was strange! A hag walked in, dragged mw outside, poked me and left! Is that what you call a romantic date?! Anyway, I knew there was a reason father told me not to get involved with anything like that. DM

So readers, how about that? As you can see, some of the pairings went well, and some took a more tough love approach to dating! Ah well, next time, there will be more lovely lonely hearts for you to get together with! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - so, what did you think of the dates? Good? Bad? Ugly? Let me know, and next time, you'll be able to choose replies for the lonely hearts again!)


	4. Issue 4

Issue 4.

Well hello again, my lovely readers! I am back again, with another batch of lonely hearts, all waiting to be claimed. Now, without further ado, I present you with our new lonely hearts! The editor.

Lonely Heart #4 - HG

I would like someone who is intelligent and isn't biased or stereotypical of others, no matter what species they are. They must also not have a house elf unless it is payed a fair wage and is there of its own free will. The person must be nice to me, as I do not tolerate bad behaviour and rule breaking, unless it is for a worthy cause. I previously had a date from this, but it didn't work out, so I am applying right away to be a lonely heart, in the hope of finding someone more suitable. However, me and my other date are still great friends.

Lonely Heart #5 - AD

I am a person of more mature years, who requires someone intelligent and chess loving to while away the hours with. I am not judgemental, but I have my secrets which I wish to keep to myself, until I feel I can trust you implicitly. I also have a sweet tooth, so someone with a love of sweet things would also be useful. I sincerely hope that this search finds me a soulmate who doesn't mind being in the spotlight occasionally, but loves me for who I am on the inside.

Lonely Heart #6 - SB

I would like someone who isn't too fussed about life but wishes to protect those who are close to them. They must also not be too much of a neat freak, since there is always hair about the place. That is another must: whoever it is must like dogs. It is no good you meeting me and not liking dogs. It would also be preferable if you could keep a secret and not mind hiding out every so often, not much, must should the need arise, if that was possible... Anyway, I hope to meet someone soon!

Well readers, there you have them! Another interesting batch of creatures from the wizarding world! If you feel that any of these lovely lonely hearts could be the one for you, then owl us your reply letter and initials, and the dedicated match making team (myself) here at the daily prophet will choose one of you to go on a date, and well, you know the rest! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - i just wish to point out that these magical matches do not reflect who I ship and which couples I like in the Harry Potter series. They are almost anonymous for a reason - to make it more interesting for Harry Potter fans, hence the humour genre. It is all a bit of fun. All of the readers pick who should reply and leave it in a review. Which leads me onto my next point, please, readers, leave in a review who you think should reply to each one. Full names, not initials, and when I have enough inspiration I'll do the rest! Thanks for reading, and let me know who you think should reply to who!)


	5. Issue 5

Issue 5.

Dear lovely readers, we have had many swift replies to the previous lonely hearts, wow they must have sounded appealing! Anyway, here are the winning replies. The editor.

Lonely heart #4 - HG

Reply from RW

hey, I think I would get on with HG because I only break rules every so often and my mates have tried this whole thing so I think I know who it is and yeah, I like them but can't ask them. My family have also been involved in this so you know... Yeah, well, that's about it. RW

Lonely heart #5 - AD

Reply from MM

Dear all at the Daily Prophet, it must be known that I do not usually read your newspaper, but I decided to give it a go due to the new editor and I must say, there has been many improvements, including the lonely hearts section. I myself feel that AD would be a wonderful companion for me, since I adore chess and am very intelligent. The sweet tooth part is a bit of a problem, although I do like the odd ginger newt, so I should be okay. Yours sincerely, MM

Lonely heart #6 - SB

Reply from RH

I am a care free member of the wizarding community who feels that SB could be the one for me. I can escape places easily, since I am an expert at flying. I also don't mind hair, although mine is short enough so I don't really moult. Dogs don't bother me either, in fact they are quite fun to play with. RH.

Well readers, there you have them! The lovely replies who will be sent on dates as soon as is convenient! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - so, thanks for those who made suggestions, I try to use ones that are unique or could be easy to write about. I am not making them a pair, as if it is unlikely the date won't work out, will it? Leave a review, you know you want to ^^)


	6. Issue 6

Issue 6.

Dear lovely readers, the fact that we have got a swift new edition of the magical matches is nothing to do with the fact that we have absolutely no news to publish whatsoever. Because we do. Clearly. Anyway, all of our lonely hearts and their partners were eager to go, and were on a date quickly, and replied as soon as possible! Besides, I was keen to publish their letters, this new feature is so popular. And did I mention it was invented by my good self? The editor.

Lonely Heart #4 - HG

Dear The Daily Prophet, I wish to thank you whole heartedly for my date in The Leaky Cauldron. Again. It was beautiful, and me and my date, another close friend. This one also went well, although we didn't buy anything afterwards, we window shopped. It was fun, actually, as my acquaintance was laughing and joking with me. I do hope that it works out better than my last time, and this will be my last letter to your column. Thanks, Daily Prophet, HG.

People at Daily Prophet. Yeah, the date was awesome. I got to hug them properly and well, you know. It was Brill, and thanks for supplying some cash, so we could have lunch. That's real thoughtful, that is. Anyway, we window shopped after, it was cool. Though i don't suppose you fund broomsticks, do you? RW

(editor's note: no, we don't. Only to the Wimbourne Wasps, who we sponsor.)

Lonely heart #5 - AD

Dear The Daily Prophet, thank you for the date in the Three Broomsticks. It was close enough to get to without drawing me away from my home. Anyway, I would like to warmly thank you for showing me someone in a new light. I don't think I will ever seem them in the same way again. I hope it lasts forever. Yours thankfully, AD

For whom it may concern, I would like the express mg dearest thanks to those at the Daily Prophet who enabled me to meet a person I was already very close to at The Three Broomsticks and see then in another light. After my gilly water I was invited to play chess with him, and it proved to be a wonderful bonding session. I sincerely hope that this relationship will last forever, as I do not think I have been this stress free in a while. Yours gratefully, MM

Lonely Heart #6 - SB

People at Daily Prophet, Madame Puddifoot's?! Honestly?! It wasn't too good. I turned up and my date did and we sat and chatted and it was all okay for a while. Then I insulted someone I know dearly as Snivellus, and my date got a bit mad and said I was being harsh and judgemental. However, my date has agreed to meet me again sometime, so it mustn't have been too bad. I blame our argument on the decor of that place. That sort of decoration would drive anyone crazy! SB

Daily Prophet, my date wasn't too bad, I suppose. My partner could have been worse, but they could have been better. They insulted one of my friends, but apart friends, but apart from that they were nice and polite. I therefore decided I would meet them again. Thank you for this oppurtunity, although my partner didn't seem keen on flying. That could be the dealbreaker next time. RH.

So reader, I think that we have a nice outcome this time. Don't forget, next time there'll be more lonely hearts to get your hands on! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - so, what's the verdict? I had some nice suggestions this time, so I hope I get some more nice suggestions next time! Please review!)


	7. Issue 7

Issue 7.

Hello readers, we are back again to unite some more wizarding hearts. We have new lonely hearts (or some still trying to find someone) and we hope that you, our lovely readers, can help them by putting your names forward to maybe be their one TRUE love. Awww. Anyway, here we go! The editor.

Lonely Heart #7 - RW

Yes, you've seen me in this before, and the person I got was nice. However, exams are approaching so we are 'on a break'. Hence me applying. I am bored. I don't care who replies. I just need someone. The end. Thanks.

Lonely Heart #8 - NL

I am a shy person who keeps themself to themself and I would like someone to keep me company. I get along with popular people but they sometimes neglect me because I am too boring for them. I have a keen interest in herbology but potions terrifies me. I hold the record for most blown up cauldrons. I also have a toad who always gets lost. I don't like nasty people so can they not apply, please?

Lonely Heart #9 - DM

I am a wealthy pureblood who is looking for a member of the community to be with. I would prefer you to be rich and good looking, and you would have to have some sort if special talent, such as quidditch or potions. I may seem like a harsh dragon, but inside lies a nice, tame puppy that you can see, should you apply to be with me.

Well, readers, there you have it! If you feel that you belong with one of these lonely hearts, owl us a reply and we will choose a worthy winner. Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - thanks to all those who are reviewing. And who do you think should reply? Let me know in a review!)


	8. Issue 8

Issue 8.

Dear readers, we had some swift responses to our lonely hearts, so we thought that it would be best to choose the winners now. So here they are! The editor.

Lonely heart #7 - RW

Reply from HG

Dear Daily Prophet, you had better pick me. Yes, I am here again and I need to give RW some advice. Pick me or else. I know some good curses. Sorry this letter is short, but I have to study, you know! HG

(editors note: we did not pick this letter from fear at all. Whatsoever.)

Lonely heart #8 - NL

Reply from LL

Greetings Daily Prophet. The nargles informed me that love was in the air for me, so I immediately wrote to you. I was also informed that NL was a worthy and noble choice, so I will choose them. May you mount a thestral and ride into the sunset, LL

Lonely Heart #9 - DM

Reply from AG

Hello, I too am a pureblood who knows many different skills that make me a worthy partner. I feel that DM would be a perfect match for me, and my parents approve of DM's piece in your lonely hearts column, so I decided to send this letter via my best eagle owl. Yours sincerely, AG

Well readers, there you have the dates for our lonely hearts, who will all be going on dates together in due course. Keel calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - they are the replies, then. Let me know what you think on a review! -.-)


	9. Issue 9

Issue 9

Hello, and welcome again to The Daily Prophet's Magical Matches! Our lonely hearts went on their dates, and sent us letters to show us how well they went! On with the show! The editor.

Lonely heart # 7 - RW

Hi, I went to The Leaky Cauldron. Again. Why do you always send me there? Anyway, it sort if proved to be an almost blessing because you had set me up with the person I was on a break from! They absolutely tore into me, so I escaped into muggle London! However, I didn't know what to do so I tried to use a fellytone to call home, but it wouldn't accept my money, I think it is because it was wizarding money. Anyway, they caught up with me as I found kings cross station - I was planning to hide on platform 9 and 3/4 , but it wouldn't let me through! I forgot it only opened when the Hogwarts express arrives! So, I ended up being escorted away by security, and HG rescued me! Anyway, I think I've learnt my lesson. RW.

Dear Daily Prophet, thank you for allowing me to go and sort out RW! Luckily, they managed to make a complete spectacle out of himself in muggle London, so now we are back together, although I insist that I still study for exams, which I must be doing now. Thank you, HG.

Lonely Heart #8 - NL

Hi, thanks for the date at The Three Broomsticks, apparently there was a positive vibe from the crumple horned snorckack horn (if that's how you spell it, I should really have asked someone to check this, but the person I had in mind is studying.) Anyway, so the positive vibe meant that we got on well, so we will go out again another time, possibly to hunt for nargles. NL.

Greetings all in the office, I just thought I would make it clear that I only read this section of the paper, as the quibbler offers more substantial reading information. However, the crumple horned snorkacks were sending me positive vibes, and the date went well, so we shall meet again. Well met, editors. LL

Lonely Heart #9 - DM

Dear Daily Prophet, thank you for the lovely pureblood who I met, and find very attractive. We had a wonderful time together and though she is younger than me, we get on tremendously. The one complaint I do have is that you chose for us to meet in Madame Puddifoot's. My date seemed to enjoy it, but I found it humilihating to be seen entering and leaving that place. Yours sincerely, DM.

Dear Daily Prophet, my date was wonderful. The choice of venue was also very romantic, and I hope to see my date again sometime. We talked and laughed and had a lovely time, discussing hobbies and families. I wish to express my utmost thanks. AG.

So, there you have it readers! Some more lovely stories for you to read! If you wish to be on a date like this, then submit your lonely hearts advert to The Daily Prophet's Magical Matches. Any good owl should find us. Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - so, what did you think? I would like to say that if you don't happen to like the pairings that come about, then please, when I do some new lonely hearts, submit who you would like to be with them, I may pick your answer! Please don't be upset if I don't, though. -_-)


	10. Issue 10

Issue 10.

Dadadadadadaaa! The Daily Prophet's Magical Matches has reached a decade in print! Well, 10 issues anyway, nowhere near 10 years. Or 10 months. Or even 10 weeks. Anyway, in this issue we bring you even more sad tales of love and lust, for those of you who may be looking for a heart to be with on those cold winter evenings. Merlin, I should so be a poet. I feel like the old muggle man, mr shakesdear. What a great name, I must say. I mean, if he and his wife were in a milkshake parlour, all she would have to do is say his name and he would know exactly what to get. Genius! Anywho, I may be rambling slightly, but la de to me as I am the editor so I can do what I want! Including consume a bottle or two of the wizarding world'd favourite drink... Yes, you guessed it! Firewhisky! Well, I already have consumed a bottle, and I am now feeling slightly sleepy, so goodbye and on with the show, readers! The editor.

Lonely Heart #10 - FG

I am an extremely normal person who does normal things, such as hand out biscuits to my friends and practice magic with them. I am incredibly rich and own my own chain of magic shops, although it would be preferred if the applicant was rather rich, too. When I meet you we shall wine, dine and all will be fine. Wow, how poetic! Some clever people would be pleased. Not that I am not clever, I am very clever. Anyway, I do hope you will reply, especially if you love custard creams and toffees. They are personal favourites of mine.

Lonely Heart #11 - RL

I am a member of the magical community that is dubbed an outcast by most. However, beneath the shabby exterior lies a beautiful heart, which is in dire need of love. Most people shun me and my problems, although some people are able to see my good points, such as my intelligence, my caring and my sense of fun. Those who apply must not mind me having a slight monthly problem, as I really can't stop it, it is just how I am. They may also find it useful to own chains or other restraining items, unless they are good at potions. (I realise how incredibly desparate and sexual that sounds. Please, it is not what it seems!) However, apart from that, you must realise that money isn't everything, as I find it hard to get work. I hope I get a reply.

Lonely Heart #12 - MM

I have been featured in this before, and would love to thank you for the lovely partner I found. However, as my partner is currently away on pressing business, I require someone intelligent to talk with, so I would urge people with good intellects and a love for chess, transfiguration and quidditch to come forward. Please do, I would like to talk.

So, readers, what did you think? Another fine group of lonely hearts, all ready and waiting fir someone to love. I think the firewhisky is finally taking effect on me, so I'll leave it at that. Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(right, so, who should go out with which lonely heart. I would like a reply please even or you don't know who the lonely heart is, as I want to make it interesting without all mainly canon pairings being suggested, so some of the lonely hearts are meant to be really hard to guess so that some unusual pairings can come about! Apart from that, I hope you enjoyed issue 10!)


	11. Issue 11

Issue 11

Hello again, readers, and thank you for the responses to all our lonely hearts. We have picked the necessary ones, and are ready to rock and roll! Anyway, without further ado, I give you the replies! The editor.

Lonely Heart #10 - FG

Reply from HS

Why hello, I wish to get into contact with FG, as although I have no idea who they could be, I am sure that they would enjoy my special club, and me. I feel that myself and FG would have a lot in common, and having lots to talk about is always a positive thing, in my humble opinion. Also, I don't wish to boast, but I am quite rich, so I would be a worthy candidate. Yours, HS

Lonely Heart #11 - RL

Reply from SB

Hey y'all, I have been on this before, but that didn't work out, so yeah. Well. I decided to reply to RL as they seem like a great person with a good personality and great interests. We also appear to have a lot in common. I, too, find it hard to get work so I am not fussed about RL's problem. Please consider me. SB

Lonely Heart #12 - MM

Reply from AD

Dear all at The Daily Prophet, I am very interested in MM. They seem like a wonderful person to chat with and I would travel miles just to talk to them, especially as they love chess and transfiguration. I would literally do anything to be with MM. Therefore, I feel you should pick me to be the date of MM. Yours incredibly hopefully, AD

So readers, another batch of lovely lonely hearts and their replies, don't you think? Yes, yes you do. Thank you. Anyway, we shall be sending them in their dates soon. Until then. Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(so, what do you think? I had many, many, Sirius and Remus replies, so I hope that my wolfstar reply was okay. Let me know what you think. I will get round to doing the dates. I don't know how soon, though.)


	12. Issue 12

Issue 12

hello readers! Yes, this issue brings more surprise and heartache and romance! Yes, even we were surprised by some lonely hearts and their dates! Anyway, must dash now, i do have a paper to run, you know! The editor.

Lonely Heart #10 - FG

Hey Daily Prophet, you gullible idiots! Can't believe you fell for our prank, we decided it would be absolutely hilarious to pretend to be a completely random person and see who we got stuck with. The Leaky Cauldron was a very convenient meeting place, by the way, not far from our business! And the person you set us up with was perfect! We sure knocked down their ego a bit when they realised they had fallen for a made up person! And they looked very fetching in our new range of animal noses. We decided to let them go out into Diagon Alley with the nose of a horse, the stares they got were very worthwhile. Thanks again for the opportunity, maybe you'll advertise our business for free now. Yours, FG

Dear Daily Prophet, how dare you allow such pranksters advertise as an ordinary person? I am outraged as to the fact that you allowed me to meet with them, especially as I ended up with a horse's nose! I am utterly disgusted with you! Did you know that I have contacts with the likes of Dumbledore? I could have you taken down easily! Anyway, I have more pressing things to attend to, such as lunch with one of my former club members who has gone on to do great things! Remember, an invitation to my club is a privilege most would only dream of. Yours, HS

Lonely Heart #11 - RL

Hallo all at the offices, I must say that my date in The Three Broomsticks opened my eyes to someone I never thought of as more than a friend, and to concepts I wouldn't have thought I could have been. However, meeting with an old friend for a date was a wonderful setting, and we are both willing to give a relationship ago, since we both have keen interests in members of the greater dog family, and we have a lot of history together, so we accept each other for who we are. Thank you, RL

Hey again, this is rushed but thanks for the date, it went well, and as we were both undercover it was very secretive and I think it drew us a lot closer together. We have decided to give the whole relationship thing a go, so who knows what the future holds. SB

Lonely Heart #12 - MM

Hello Daily Prophet Offices, again, I wish to thank your lonely hearts column, I only wish the rest of the paper would reflect this sort if initiative. Anyway, your column brought my partner back to talk to me, as they realised just how lonely I was. I mean, I had spent almost 5 whole weeks without them, and now I know them as a close partner, I don't wish them to be away for long. Anyway, thank you, Daily Prophet. MM

All at the Magical Matches offices, thank you for allowing me and my partner to meet up again. I must say, Madame Puddifoot's generally isn't the place we would choose to go, but it proved a fine starting point since it was close to where we could then retire to. We aren't all that young, you know. Thank you once again, AD

And there you have it, readers! Some more magical matches! Oh, and maybe you would like to apply to be a lonely heart? If you you, owl us your initials to the usual address. You won't be disappointed, I am sure. Until then... Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - thanks to everyone who reviews rapidly and leaves feedback on who they wish to have as replies to the lonely hearts. You'll have more to find matches to next issue. Oh, and I couldn't resist my little FG thing, and HS was a great person to have as a reply, thanks for suggesting that, someone! And I am glad that some of you are being puzzled over who the lonely hearts are, as it means that we get much more exciting replies! Thanks to Roses In Thorns for pointing out a rather large blunder I had made. I owe you. *-*)


	13. Issue 13

Issue 13.

Well hello again dear readers! Sorry for the delay, I've had a lot on my plate recently, with the many tremendous articles for the newspaper! So, I have finally gotten round to printing the next lonely hearts, who will hopfully touch the hearts of one of you readers. Until then. The editor.

Lonely Heart #13 - LL

The nargles are advising me to advertise for another partner. I was one for a previous lonely heart, and we are still together for now, but one must never ignore the nargles, or they turn against you, and life without nargles is not worth living. I fear that they are warning me that danger lies if I do not find another or secure the relationship, so I found myself using this news source again, although other ones are so much better. However, I must not make his advertisement for much longer, as I have a wrackspurt to find. Good day to you all. LL.

Lonely Heart #14 - LM

I am a wealthy aristocrat who wishes for a companion whilst my partner is away. It is always infuriatingly annoying when one gets too lonely, with nobody to be with, if you understand what I mean. Whoever replies must be of pure blood status, and be very knowledgeable in the dark arts, and selling and dealing items. They must also not mind children, as I myself have a child. Somebody had better reply and fir with those requirements. LM

Lonely Heart #15 - ME

I am not the most attractive person but I am very clever and I am not too bad financially. I am able to offer whoever is with me constant protection, as long as you put up with my strange habits and quirks. I have been feeling rather lonely after living a traumatic life, so I want someone to while away the time with, chatting intellectually over supper. ME

so, all you readers out there! Does any of these lonely members of the magical community take your fancy? If so, owl us your details to the usual address! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(so, there you have it. Sorry for the delay, I've had exams to revise for and mountains of homework. Anyway, now that's all finished for now, I've written the next issue! Who do you want to be with the lonely hearts? Let me know in a review, and I shall pick who replies when I have time to do another issue!)


	14. Issue 14

Issue 14

well hellooo again, young mugwumps! The magical matches are back! Some of our lonely hearts didn't go down too popularly, it would seem, but ah well, such is life. Besides, they all got some replies. Thank goodness! Anyway, I shall be off now, I have an interesting article to edit. The editor.

Lonely Heart #13 - LL

Reply from NL

Hey, I would like to reply to LL as LL is my person and I feel lost without them. I don't want to interfere with the nargles, but I do hope that they were wrong, as my life has taken a turn for the better since I got together with LL. Please, consider me. NL.

Lonely Heart #14 - LM

Reply from BL

Daily Prophet, I am a pureblood who wishes to meet with LM. To me, LM seems like just the person I can talk to and discuss serious life issues with. That will be all for now, thank you. BL.

Lonely Heart #15 - ME

Reply from PP

Dear all at The Daily Prophet, I feel that ME could be for me, as they sound like an incredibly down to earth person. I do not mine that they are not attractive, as i have been faced with many an unappealing sight in my career, and i am sure they won't be as bad as that. As for the quirks, i know enough quirky people already, so i do not mind if ME isn't like everyone else. The money part doesn't bother me, as i wish to meet ME for who they are, not what they have got. Yours hopefully, PP.

Well my good readers, there is the replies for our latest lonely hearts! Do you think that the dates will go well? I sure do, as otherwise this whole thing would be a bit of a failure, wouldn't it?! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(so guys, what do you think? I didn't have much response to ME, as people didn't know who they were! Please, if you don't know who someone is, just suggest someone based on their advert! It makes the whole thing so much more fun! Anyway, until next time!)


	15. Issue 15

Issue 15

Hello again my readers! Well, our magical matches have gone in their dates, and have sent their reply letters. What happened? Read on to find out! The editor.

Lonely Heart #13 - LL

Daily Prophet, I wish to inform you that the nargles were playing an amusing game. I must be a chosen one! Yes, the nargles were in fact sending me back your way so that I could meet my partner once more, and confirm that he liked me. Which he does. He even went to the Magical Menagerie to ask if they had any blibbering humdingers in stock, which they didn't, unfortunately. However, our date in The Leaky Cauldron was lovely, thank you. Must go now, my father has informed me of a wrackspurt sighting. LL.

Hey again, just wanted to thank you for the date. It went well, and apparently the nargles have appointed LL as a chosen one. Whatever that means. Anyway, the date went really well and then we went to see if there were any bliiberful humanters or something like that in stock at the magical menagerie. Thanks again, NL.

Lonely Heart #14 - LM

All at Daily Prophet, I wish to express my utmost disdain at your choice of partner for me! I went into The Three Broomsticks and ended up under a torrent of abuse from somebody who is a close acquaintance of mine. It took me forever to persuade them that I was merely doing it for somebody else. I hope it worked. I fear I won't be using this service again! LM

Editor and the rest, thank you so much for my date! Well, it wasn't a date, more of a wonderful torturing experience. You see, I was right about who LM was, and I happen to know that by using your service they were being very bad indeed. So I had great delight in poking fun at LM, who I think will never cross me again, meaning that I can become second in command to my lovely hero! Thank you so much! BL.

Lonely Heart #15 - ME

Daily Prophet, I must congratulate you on finding me a proper date. However, I do not think Madame Puddifoot's was the best location. However, it was a good cover up for my identity. You must always have constant vigilance! Anyway, the date worked, even though I have all of my disfigurements and ugly marks. PP seemed to find me attractive. Thank you, and always have constant vigilance! ME

Dear Daily Prophet, thank you so much for my date! It was absolutely magical and ME was a wonderful person. I didn't realise who they were, but when I got to Madame Puddifoot's I realised that it was an old friend! We are going out again some time, but my date wants to protect me as apparently we always have to be constantly vigilant. I guess that's why they have all of their dark detectors. Anyway, thank you so much! PP

So, my fellow wizarding world member, did you think that the dates went well? Would you like to be one of these dates? Well, next issue there will be more lonely hearts for you to meet! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - so, what did you think? Sorry it took so long, I just wasn't in the mood to write, and I had a French test, but then I was! Yay! Let me know what you think, guys!)


	16. Issue 16

Issue 16

Hello again dear readers - wow, we had a swift response from you guys, and we already have the lonely hearts to publish this issue. And because I am such a nice guy I thought, hey, these guys don't need to be lonely for long. And I had time on my hands. But mainly the first one. Honestly. The editor.

Lonely Heart #16 - BL

I am a lovely person and I wouldn't hurt a fly. Actually, I am a ruthless pureblood who doesn't mind being nasty or vindictive to get what I believe is right. Nobody wants terrible things around now, do they? Anyway, I would like a nice pureblood to keep me company, and preferably no jokers, as though I can do it to someone, if they do it to me I will hex them into next week. Or maybe oblivion. Probably oblivion. Anyway, the person I have should preferably be powerful, and ideally have a large fan base. Don't worry, I would be happy to be second best if you were the right person. Hurry up and reply then! BL

Lonely Heart #17 - RH

I am a big hearted person that wants someone to be with. I enjoy having fun and good times and I also like animals. I am quite knowledgeable but prefer to be outside where I can think and do what I enjoy best. RH.

Lonely Heart #18 - DU

I am a lovely person that is extremely successful. I have managed to do a wide range of things in my life, and am well known for it. I don't mind nice children, as I always have lots of fun and games for them to do with me. I would like someone who shares similar interests to me, and preferably has a position of authority, although I could see past this if you were the right person. Get replying or I'll get you. DU.

So readers! There you have the next lot of lonely hearts. If you think that any of these could be for you, then don't hesitate to contact us at the usual address, and I shall pick the one who I think goes best with the lonely heart. Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(so, who do you think should be with these lonely hearts? Let me know in a review. And just to clear up, ME was Mad Eye, and although his initials are AM - I have mentioned him in other fics - I thought that he would put fake initials, due to constant vigilance and all of that! Anyways, please let me know in a review who should reply to these lonely hearts, even if you don't know who they are! It makes it all the more entertaining! _)


	17. Issue 17

Issue 17

Why bonjour readers. Bonjour is French for hello by the way. It literally translates as good day. If you hadn't noticed I have been brushing up on my French skills, ad though I have only just got a job here, I feel slightly underestimated, and nobody here appears to like me so I may travel across the waters and leave your newspaper, which would mean the end of this column, my dear readers. I may head to France. Anyway, as I haven't made up my mind yet, I have chosen the replies to these lonely hearts. Sorry the issue is late, I was checking out French jobs. Au revoir. The editor.

Lonely Heart #16 - BL

Reply from VK

I be a famous quidditch player who is known globally for my skills. My fanbase is huge, but I feel that BL could be the one for me. I be very talented, and would like show BL some of my broom tricks. I had lots of practice and been told my broom is biggest and best some have seen. Apparently I am an expert with my broom. Anyway, my English isn't the best, but I be hoping that BL can help me improve. You better pick me, I be famous. VK

Lonely Heart #17 - RH

Reply from FC

The planets aligned and showed me the way. I am destined to be with RH, who appears to be a lovely person who will accept me for who I am. Though I am not the most popular person (I have been shunned by most) I feel that RH could see last that and care for me and share many jokes with me. I love the outdoors, and I hope that RH will be the one for me. Well met fair editors. FC

Lonely Heart #18 - DU

Reply from PW

I am a magical being who has an established role within the pillar of our existence. If it wasn't for me, most of our world would have crumbled and burned under the masses of illegal cauldrons and other pranks that society is throwing our way. It is not right! I do believe that DU shares these interests with me, and would be able to comfort me as we whiled away the hours chatting and discussing important matters. Therefore, I would be honoured if you picked me. Yours truly, PW.

So, dear readers, have those lonely hearts got what it takes to wow their dates. I sincerely hope so. It is nice to know that I can matchmake even in mh most darkest days, when I am merely taken for granted within this wizarding world. I feel the time has come for me to go to France, dear readers. Next issue I shall let you know of my decision. Au revoir. Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(so... Will the editor stay or will the editor go? I don't know why the editor decided to go to France. It just happened. Well, let me know in a review what you think of the decision. Is the editor loved or not?)


	18. Issue 18

Issue 18

good day, readers. Well, this issue had to be published so here it is. And I have more lonely hearts. The question is, will I publish them or not. You see, from my announcement last issue, very few people have instructed me on whether or not to go to France. Although I am not in the best of moods with French in general at the moment, as the language is irritating me. If I went there, I would have to be doing better than I can write in French at the moment. Ah well, c'est la vie, ad they would say. Actually, I do know some French, so I may just go! Anyway, on with the dates:

Lonely Heart #16 - BL

Daily Prophet, The Leaky Cauldron was a great place to meet my date, who fills in so many of my requirements. There is nothing in age, eh? Anyway, after our date we both went for a stroll down Diagon Alley (or places near there, anyway) and we share similar interests which is a positive. All in all a great experience. BL.

Offices, my meeting with person went well. We talk and eat and shop and walk and meet and bop. It was good. We both like same things, so we are good together. I liked date so thank you very much. I am famous so if it had not been well I would have killed you. No joke. VK

Lonely Heart #17 - RH

Editor, my date were a disaster! Well, in The Three Broomsticks I had loads of ale and stuff, but my date was one of my closest friends. And it would be wrong to do anything. Wrong. And my date wasn't too welcome in the pub. Ah well, maybe next time. RH

Met again, as I have said before even the planets can lie, sometimes. Well this is the case, now. Firstly it was difficult. Being who I am, it was hard to be accepted into the pub to start with. However, when I saw one of my closest friends and we realised that we were each other's dates we were horrified; that could never work, it would be wrong on many levels. It doesn't matter, no hard feelings, daily prophet. FC.

Lonely Heart #18 - DU

All who are listening, I wasn't the best impressed with my date, although I am sure I can alter them to fit my style. They seem awfully keen and eager to impress me. I like that in a person. It shows me that I am better than them. Anyway, Madame Puddifoot's was exactly to my taste, and we enjoyed a lovely little meeting together, and I shall probably ask my date out again sometime. Yours, DU

Editor's Offices, I wish to express my utmost thanks for the date that you sent me on. I was incredibly impressed with my date - such an influential personality! I hope we shall go out again some more, and then, maybe, if i feel the need, i will introduce them to my family. I am in no rush for that to happen though. Anyway, must be going now, work doesn't do itself, you know. PW

So, dear readers! What did you think of the dates, but more importantly, should i stay or should i go? That got a muggle song in my head, that stay or go line, so now i have stopped singing it, i shall continue. Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(well then, well then, well then! What do you think? And should the editor change or not? I dont even know what happened, my dear editor just randomly announced France. Well then, what will happen? And who will be the next lonely hearts?)


	19. Issue 19

Issue 19.

Readers, yes, the daily prophet's magical matches continues! I got shoved out of the French job by a surprise new applicant, who may I say was incredibly pretty and sexy... The less said about that, the better. She was part veela, how was I meant to control my actions? Anyway, on with the show, my friends! The editor.

Lonely Heart #19 - MW

I am a clever person who has a lot of love in my heart. I am incredibly talented when it comes to household charms and potions aswell as normal combat ones. I care for those I love, and my aim in life is to protect all those who are close to my heart. I do not put up with too much messing, although I can fake some.

Lonely Heart #20 - GW

I am an outgoing yet shy person who really wants someone special to take care of me and look after me when times are tough. I am however my own person, and i can go my own way if necessary.

Lonely Heart #21 - NT

I am clumsy and weird and that is how i am going to stay. I am not normal and i am aware of this. I have a complicated family background and just want someone strong to hold me and help me. I dont care who you are, as an outcast i treat other outcasts with respect. I also dont mind mess whatsoever.

Well readers, there you are! Do you want to reply? Send your application letter to the usual address. Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(firstly, i want to thank you for the massive number of reviews i am getting! I can't keep up with them all. Also, as a special treat since i am feeling nice, i wish to ask gypsyrosalie and writer2be14 to pick a character each to be a lonely heart in the future as they were my 25th and 50h reviews, and i forgot to tell gypsy rosalie when she left that review! I don't know which issue, but they'll get in. Anyway, who should reply? Let me know.)


	20. Issue 20

Issue 20

back again, as the replies came in quite quickly! And thank you for the support, it wasn't nice being beaten my that scheming, sly and sexy veela. I didn't meant to type that. Anyway, in with the replies, people! The editor.

Lonely Heart #19 - MW

Reply from CW

Offices, I think they I would get along great with MW as they sound like the perfect person to sort the house out while I am at work or away. Also, I think they sound like a very trustworthy person who I could easily get along with. Must dash now, I have a blazing matter to attend to! CW

Lonely Heart #20 - GW

Reply from HP

Hello Daily Prophet Offices, GW sounds like the perfect person for me as they sound sweet and kind and as if they would like me for who I am in the inside, not on the outside. Also, I think that they are string enough to look after themselves when I can't. Thank you. HP

Lonely Heart #21 - NT

Reply from MR

I think that NT sounds like just the person for me! I am used to weird people as my job requires me to socialize with many different types of people. Therefore, NT sounds like the sort of person who I could get along with well ad I feel we would have plenty to talk about. Yours, MR

so what do you think, readers? The dates will be happening soon and how will they go? Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(thanks for the many reviews I have been getting. And thanks to gypsy Rosalie for the idea. May I shout out to writer2be14 who was my 50th review, please can you pm me with your idea of who could be a lonely heart asap, since you were my half a century review? Thanks.)


	21. Issue 21

Issue 21.

Why hello again readers! Sorry for the delay but we just had so much news to cover that it was believable! And we had to wait for all of the howlers to stop coming in from some of the lonely hearts and their dates. Oh dear... Apart from that, I have been keeping well, and am pleased that I have stayed at this wonderful newspapaer. I am even considering some more changes! That is, if I can be bothered. Life is hard. Anyway, on with the show, readers! The editor.

Lonely heart #19 - MW

DAILY PROPHET HOW DARE YOU SET ME UP WITH MY SON! I DID NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN, I WANTED TO HAVE A FULLY PAID FOR DINNER WITH MY SPOUSE, BUT YOU CHOSE MY SON'S REPLY OVER THAT ONE. HONESTLY?! YOU WILL NEVER Y RECEIVING HOWLERS FROM ME. MW

Daily Prophet, I was slightly shocked that you had chosen the most awkward possible person ever to put me with. In fact, I am very disappointed. The dinner in The Leaky Cauldron was wonderful however. Apart from that, it was a bit of a disaster. No hard feelings, you weren't to know. CW.

Lonely heart #20 - GW

Daily Prophet, I am very grateful for the date. The Three Broomsticks was wonderful and me and my date had such a great time. Ah, hopefully we will be together forever. Thank you. GW.

Hey, thanks for the date. I really liked it and I liked my date and everything so yeah, thanks. I owe you. Actually no I don't. I'll count the nice date as payback for other times. See you, gotta fly! HP

Lonely heart #21 - NT

Hiya, the date wasn't the best, to be honest. I didn't mind who I was put with, but, well, I am not gay. So yeah, sure, the person I met was a friend, but no more. Ah well. Catch you soon, maybe, NT.

Dear editor, the date was most intriguing, although Madame Puddifoot's wouldn't have been my first choice of location. It was a little awkward. And though the person I met was utterly fabulous, I feel that we shall stay friends. Yours, MR.

So readers, there you have them all! More lonely hearts next time! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(so, what do you think? Sorry for the huge delay but I've had a massive German assessment to do and although I am off at the moment I've been so busy with my other fic - please can I have some reviews for Beyond The Point Of No Return - and posting another fic - Bread fans it is called The Health And Safety Officer. So yeah, sorry. Please review though, it means the world to me. Thanks.)


	22. Issue 22

Issue 22

Hello again, dear readers! Well, we have some more lonely hearts for you, and if you want to reply then let us know! Until then. The editor.

Lonely Heart #22 - HS

I am a well established person with many useful contacts within the world. Anyone who wishes to be with me must have some sort of achievement as I cannot be with a nobody. Clearly. Also, you mustn't mind me being around children a lot, as I value them and wish to know everything about them, so that I can then use then for my own purposes. That is all, see? Just an innocent pastime.

Lonely Heart #23 - ST

It was in the stars that I should try my luck with this column. Once the planets had all aligned I gazed into my crystal ball and saw a wonderful sight! Myself being rescued from my tower by a wonderful person on a black grim... Oh my! A grim! That must mean that whoever rescues me shall die in their love for me! Please, whoever replies, I will appreciate your valiant efforts.

Lonely Heart #24 - XL

I am looking for someone who doesn't mind blibbering humdingers or moon frogs, as these are common where I live. Also, you mustn't mind that I am busy with my business. Seriously, I am only using this newspaper as advertisement, actually, I much prefer The Quibbler, given that it has much more relevant and reliable information on it.

Well then, readers. Do you think that any of these lovely lonely hearts are for you? Then reply to the usual address. Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - so, what do you think? I am a little dismayed by my decreasing views and reviews. I know I haven't updated in a while but I've had loads if work to do. However, I have updated all of my stories and have written another, which shall be up soon. Please, let mw know who you think should reply, even if you don't know who the lonely hearts are. That makes it more interesting!)


	23. Issue 23

Issue 23

Why hello there young (and not so young) mugwumps! The offices are open again, and we have some replies for the lonely hearts! Let's see if we can make any magical matches, eh? The editor.

Lonely Heart #22 - HS

Reply from RS

Testing, testing, one two three. Right, well, I am an incredibly talented and sexy person who has volumes of talent and good looks on my side. I know most of the celebrities of our time and have many high up contacts in the wizarding world. I too love children so HS would be a perfect match for me and I would also love to possibly write about them too. I shall go now, as I have things to do. Quick quotes quill, stop. RS.

Lonely Heart #23 - ST

Reply from KS

I enjoy being in dramatic situations and I can defend myself well, so I wish to be with ST so that I can sort out the omen of death and continue to be with them afterwards. Got to go now, dark wizards to fight and all of that. KS.

Lonely Heart #24 - XL

Reply from AS

Greetings, daily prophet. I wish to reply to XL's advertisement as at the mention of moon frogs Io lit up in the night sky. It can only mean one thing: Io is calling for the children of its creation. And I intend to become acquainted with XL so that we may all be peaceful and harmonious together. Until the stars fall, daily prophet. AS.

Well then, dear readers! What do you think of all of those replies then? Don't forget, if you are in need of a magical match, just submit your advert to the usual address. These lonely hearts and their partners will be sent on their dates soon. Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - thanks for the swift responses guys! I am trying to write update this, beyond the point of no return - though that's pretty much sorted now - and other fics aswell as living my life, so sorry if the updates are less than swift. But I have got 10 fics up! Yay, a big breakthrough in my writing! And I wouldn't have done it without the motivation of you, my fellow writers and readers! Thank you so much! Please continue reading!)


	24. Issue 24

Issue 24.

Hello once again readers! You are all embarking on wonderful journeys, and new things are starting to happen, and I am waffling again... Anyway, let us read on to see how the dates went! The editor.

Lonely Heart #22

Dear Daily Prophet, I wish to express my utmost thanks to you for finding me a wonderful person who is on a similar wavelength to me. It was a delight to talk to my date in The Leaky Cauldron about politics, life and celebrities. So much so, that we are going to meet up again in the future. Thank you, HS.

Testing... Daily Prophet, my date was utterly fabulous as it has enlightened me about certain things in many different ways. The extraordinary things my date told me are still buzzing through my head. Seriously, I won't be able to thank you enough! Actually, I will when I use what I have heard jn a creative way. Quick quotes quill, over and out. RS.

Lonely Heart #23

Magical newspaper, the elements of the earth were unbalanced the night I had to travel to The Three Broomsticks, but when I got there there was an absolute treat. A knight in shining robes, ready to whisk me away and into happy times. They even gave me a bracelet from the boutique there. I feel special, and my star charts look positive for the future. Thank you, Daily Prophet. ST.

Hi, so the date was alright. I mean, it wasn't too awkward or anything but... My date had a sort of, well, awkward scent. It literally choked me. Anyway, I got them a bangle that I've charmed to tone down the scent a bit. I don't k ow whether it is for me, to be honest. See you, KS.

Lonely Heart #24

Untrustworthy newspaper, you'd best watch out for the nargles, they'll get you. Seriously, the place was full of wrackspurts and stuff like that and my date was just obsessed with planets. Are you for real? Oh and she's familiar with my child. I'll stick to hunting Crumple Horned Snorckacks, thanks. XL.

Moonbeams be with you, my dears. The date was in a wonderful location: Madame Puddifoot's is just so exquisite! I was thoroughly looking forward to it. However, my date appeared a little bizarre, and he didn't know anything about moon frogs if I am honest. What a disappointment! AS.

So, readers, what do you think? Would you like to be a lonely heart and find your perfect match? If yes, then send your advert to the usual address! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - so, yeah, I finally stopped procrastinating and got off my lazy idol fat bum and wrote something. Oh, and guess what?! Da da da daaa! Beret98 was my 75th review! Yay! So, you lucky ducky, you get to pick a character to be a lonely heart! Happy days! Pm me with your suggestion, thanks. Anyway... I hope you thought that the dates went well!)


	25. Issue 25

Issue 25

Hello once again, dear readers! We have some more lonely hearts just waiting for us to provide them with their magical match! But to do that we need you! If you feel like you could be the response to any of these lovely hearts, feel free to send your reply to the usual address! The editor.

Lonely Heart #25 - GL

What a delight it is for anyone to be reading this! If you are looking for an award winning, brave hearted and magically gifted person, then look no further! I am not short of romances, but I feel that the one may be one who replies to an advertisement. Also, it will be a nice surprise then when you meet me! I will also provide you with a free gift on our date! Hurry up and reply then!

Lonely Heart #26 - DP

I be a free creature who is happy being free. I like wages and earn money to buy gifts. I like my hero family member who rescued me. I be very useful. I look for another person to share my life with. I be told I am very cute. Please reply.

Lonely Heart #27 - BC

I am a distinguished person who wishes for someone to be with now I am lonely for all of my days. I do not tolerate darkness and evil, and aim to rid the world of it. Due to unforseen circumstances, my big break in life never happened, and now I want someone else to spend my last days with.

So there they are, dear readers! What do you think? I think that these lonely hearts all deserve someone special. Someone who is reading this newspaper! Hurry up and reply! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - so, there are some more lonely hearts. Who do you think should respond? It is up to you guys! Let me know in a review who you think should reply. Also, people have been commenting on how it is difficult to know who is who. I understand this, but that is the whole point of the almost anonymous style. It then makes more interesting couples that might not have been thought of normally, just linked to the advert that is put into the newspaper. Hence why some of the initials are also altered slightly, if it fits with the personality of the character. Apart from that, thanks for the brilliant support, and let me know who you think should reply, I can't continue without ideas from you! ^.^)


	26. Issue 26

Issue 26

Well hello again dear readers! Sorry for the infrequent issues, but I have a lot to be doing at the office, what with the recent death of our dear ex minister. Therefore, I have decided to spread some joy to the world in another showing of lonely hearts replies! Read on to find out more! The editor.

Lonely Heart #25 - GL

Reply from DU

I wish to date GL as I feel that they would be an interesting person to talk to and I enjoy having insightful conversations. Also, I only really like the company of those who are gifted and talented: there are so many failures out there that it is important that the gifted people stick together. And I am intrigued as to what the free gift is. I sincerely hope that it is good, otherwise GL shall be punished. DU.

Lonely Heart #26 -DP

Reply from WC

I be happy that I like working. I love my boss. I want kind partner. I don't want wages. I want company. I need to work. WC.

Lonely Heart #27 - BC

Reply from NM

Hello, I am a well to do person who wishes to get a bit more excitement in my life. I feel that BC could give me this excitement so I would therefore like to be set up on a date with them. I must admit, the darkness and evil part of them appears to be a little extreme: I wish to discuss this further with him. I hope you choose my response. NM.

And there you are dear readers! The most recent lonely heart replies. There were a lot of candidates but we picked the replies we felt suited the lonely hearts best. Call us cupid! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - sorry for the not so swift responses but I have loads to be doing. I wish to thank everyone for their responses, your reviews are really keeping me motivated! Thank you so much! I'll update, I promise, I just don't know when and how often they'll be! Thanks for your continued support, everyone!)


	27. Issue 27

Issue 27.

Greetings, dear readers! It seems like an age since this column was last published, doesn't it? That's probably because it was! Well, you'll be pleased to know that we (eventually) got all of our lonely hearts' replies regarding their dates, and so we can now publish them for you to read. Enjoy! The editor.

Lonely heart #25 - GL.

What ho, Daily Prophet! I must say, the date wasn't too splendiferous! My date met me in The Leaky Cauldron, and ordered our meals. They refused to partake in any proper conversation, as far as I can remember, and then my mind goes blank from about the time I presented my date with their free gift. Honestly! Some people are so ungrateful! Anyway, I am back to full health now, so no worries! GL.

DAILY PROPHET. How very DARE you trick me into going on a date with THAT PERSON! As soon as I realised I just wanted to be back at home polishing my plate collection. I sat out the date politely enough, and then when presented with my 'free gift' I hit my date around the head with it. Honestly, the cheek! I bet they only gave me a signed copy of their autobiography because they can't sell any! I shall not be partaking in any of your events again! DU.

Lonely Heart #26 - DP

I enjoyed The Three Broomsticks very much. I liked butterbeer. I liked my date. I want to meet again with my date. My date is ignoring me. I is hoping they is not mad at me. DP.

I enjoyed my kind gift. I enjoys butterbeer muchly. Butterbeer is tasty. I enjoyed my date. I is liking my date. My date is liking me I thinks. I is playing hard to get. Naughty me. Tee he! WC.

Lonely heart #27 - BC

I cannot believe you sent me to Madame Puddifoot's. Do you want me to have any dignity left whatsoever? I exited as soon as my date had finished trying to persuade me into an alternative pathway. I shall use this new knowledge to my advantage. Thanks, I guess. BC.

The Daily Prophet, my date was very productive. The setting was rather pretty, too. Overall, I feel that I may have persuaded my date to join me on an alternative pathway. There is no romantic future there, but there could be a friendship. Imagine the stir that will cause! NM.

And so there you have it readers! More magical matches! Don't forget, if you'd like to be a magical match, send your advert to the usual address! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - I finally got around to it! Yay! I have nearly finished my exams now, and instead of revising I decided to write some more fanfiction! Yay! Thanks for being patient, my friends, and I really appreciate all of your support, so please keep on reviewing, and those who have favourited this, thank you so much! It really means a lot to me, and I appreciate it! Thanks guys!)


	28. Issue 28

Issue 28.

Well hello again my fellow associates in the magical world! We are back with another issue of magical matches for you to see if you are compatible with! Hooray! So, without further ado, I present you with the magical matches! The editor.

Lonely Heart #28 - PS

I am a large and lovable person with an extremely big heart, who would like to be with an extraordinarily kind person who would share my love of plants and accept me for who I am. I enjoy all types of plants and grow pretty much everything, so I could be useful for most plant and potion needs. Therefore, please hurry up and reply, I sincerely look forward to our date!

Lonely Heart #29 - MF

So, well, I am a businessperson of sorts, I guess, and it can be pretty lonely travelling abroad for all of my imports. So I guess I am looking for someone who is open minded and doesn't mind travelling. And is willing to break some rules. Thanks.

Lonely Heart #30 - SM

Daddy advised me against this but I am going to go against his wishes for the moment, for I feel I am old enough to write an appropriate letter to gain myself a partner, since Daddy met Mummy using this column. I am young and fairly well educated, and I come from a wealthy background. Therefore, I would appreciate it if a pure blooded person put themselves forward for my date. Thanking you in advance.

And there you have them my dear readers! What do you think? A real assortment of lonely hearts wouldn't you say?! Indeed there are, I hear you replying. Therefore, get replying! Everyone needs a little love, and this column is the way forward in modern dating! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - yay! I updated! I have got a bit of time on my hands, and so i decided I would finally do some more writing, and so I did! I hope my long intervals haven't put you readers off, since your reviews are what keep me going! Seriously, drop me a review. It motivates me. Anyway, thanks for reading, and now it is your turn! Suggest who you want to reply to the lonely hearts, and I shall try and make it happen. Also, please don't not suggest if you can't work out who the person is, as the whole point of this is to not just make canon pairings! Sometimes, it is funny to write and read unusual ones which have come from somebody suggesting based on the advert! Anyway, please review!)


	29. Issue 29

Issue 29.

Phew! I have been busy dear readers, and I have pretty much failed my life. Therefore, I am willing to publish those who have been chosen from the replies to the lonely hearts we received. Here they are! The editor.

Lonely Heart #28 - PS

Reply from NL

Okay, so I like plants and I am a little lonely, so I would really like to meet PS as I feel that they could make me feel valued within society. Also, they don't appear to mind animals, since they like plants, and I have a toad which I am rather close to, so I should like PS to get on well with my pet. Please pick me to be with PS.

Lonely Heart #29 - MF

Reply from SB

I don't mind breaking rules whatsoever, and I am totally used to travelling, I suppose it has become a way of life for me. Honestly, I would love to go on a date with MF as they sound like my sort of person, they really do!

Lonely Heart #30 - SM

Reply from RW

Both of my parents are magical and I am also quite clever. Therefore, I feel I would make a wonderful partner for SM since their story sounds so romantic, about them turning to the place where their parents met. Ahh, I love the idea! Please, please, pretty please pick me as the date for SM!

And so there you have them all, my friends! They all look like such a lovely lot, don't they just? Indeed they do! Anyhow, I shall be off once more, and I shall ensure the dates are set up soon! Keep calm and marry on, you lonely hearts! The editor.

(a/n - okay, so I've had masses of exams which I've all failed so I may as well have been writing, but anyhow, I am back for a while! And I have a massive author's note. Hooray. Firstly, a guest reviewed about who is who. I understand the language issues, and so I have decided that I shall answer reviews regarding who is who in my author notes. Please include which chapter the people are in though, to make my life easier! And make sure they are not in the dates which are currently happening, as I won't answer those, since people are meant to review based on what's in the advert, not who the person is! And finally... I GOT MY HUNDREDTH REVIEW FOR THIS! Melody Thorn, congratulations on being my hundredth reviewer and making my month! You can now choose 3 new lonely hearts! PM me with your 3 characters, I shall enjoy writing them! That's it, I told you it was long, didn't I?! -_-)


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